Influence: The Reciprocity Rule

As members of the human society, we feel an obligation to repay in kind that which we have recieved.  Someone buys your lunch, you feel obligated to buy it next time. If someone does you an unsolicited favor, you look for ways to pay them back.  This is why we say "much obliged" when someone does something for us.

So, what is one of the most powerful ways to influence others?  Do them a SINCERE kindness.  In business, if you want referrals, give them.  Take the time to get to know other people in the business community and ask them who they want to meet or who their ideal customer is.  Look for ways to make introductions.  Most will appreciate what you have done and will eventually find a way to reciprocate.

Keep in mind two things.  First, the need to reciprocate is very powerful.  Use this influence strategy wisely!  Don't do cheap favors or give poor referrals jus so others will be indebted to you.  People see through that and will repay you in kind.  It is poor for relationships and is disrespectful of people's time.

Second, don't keep score.  Stay focused on giving, not getting.  It has its' own rewards.

To read about this and other rules of influence (which I will blog about in the future), pick up the book Infuence: Science and Practice by Robert Cialdini